First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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