I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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