I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
