Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
