Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
