Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
