Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
