I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
