i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
