can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
