Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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