Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
