She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
