i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
