I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize