why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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