i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
