problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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