Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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