All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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