At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
