I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
