Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
