i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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