i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize