who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
