Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
