is wine microwaveable?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
