Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So much rum. So many feels.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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