it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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