Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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