He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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