we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
