Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
