Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
