We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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