i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
