20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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