so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
