I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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