and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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