"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
