apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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