dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
