It's Friday. Sex?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
