I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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