Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
