She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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