how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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