sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize