I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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