Me. At least after what I've been through.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
how drunk are you?
Several
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
