Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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