So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
