so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
