apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
