And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
