Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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