playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
