three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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