it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize