we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
