I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
