i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As shirtless as possible
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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