I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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